Our Journey Through Doubt, Truth, and Faith
Wrestling with God, Questioning Everything, and Finding Jesus in the Chaos
Over the past few years of doing the podcast, Sheri and I have gone back and forth on something I know a lot of people wrestle with: faith and spirituality. I grew up in a house where my mom made sure we got to church whenever she could. In many ways, it was her escape from the chaos at home. For her, church was the one place she could find some strength, some hope, in the middle of a marriage that was falling apart.
I’m not alone in having a turbulent childhood because of my parents, or maybe it’s more honest to say, because of the lack of any real relationship between them. A lot of times in church, I wasn’t even listening to the preacher. I was watching my mom. Watching how broken she was inside, how desperate she was to find something — anything — in that service that could help her survive mentally another week.
I, on the other hand, didn’t want to be there. Church felt boring to me, and honestly, a lot of the stuff they talked about just scared the hell out of me. I was already dealing with anxiety from everything going on at home, and sitting in those pews didn’t make it any better. If anything, it made it worse.
The stories I heard from the Bible felt like something straight out of a sci-fi movie. There was no way any of it could be true, and once I hit my teenage years, it all sounded even crazier. As I got older, there were still moments when I felt like I needed to have faith, especially during the tougher stretches. I prayed a lot, even though deep down, I wasn’t sure if anyone was listening... or if there was even anyone there at all. Most of the time, it just felt like my prayers hit the ceiling and fell right back down.
After my parents divorced when I was 17, it didn’t take long before I showed up with a beat-up U-Haul and packed up what little I had. I was moving out — five hours away to Myrtle Beach — with no real plan, just the need to get away.
Most of my early twenties were a blur of partying way too hard (no drugs, but plenty of bad decisions), thinking that was the life I had been chasing. But it wasn’t. That lifestyle leaves you feeling empty, sick, and wondering why every hangover feels like it’s trying to kill you. During those years of partying, I had moments, just like in my childhood, where the hopelessness would creep back in. I felt lost, like I was just drifting with no real direction. And instead of getting closer to God, I found myself pushing Him even further away.
After nearly seven years in party town USA, Myrtle Beach, I packed up and moved back to the mountains, closer to family and old friends. I jumped into careers that weren’t just physically draining, but mentally brutal too. Dealing with the public during some of their worst moments, seeing the ugly side of life day after day, only added to the weight I was already carrying. The fight inside me got louder — that feeling of not knowing what I was supposed to be doing with my life.
Fast forward to 2011, I met Sheri, and we hit it off right away. It wasn’t easy in the beginning, not by a long shot. But when you love someone, you fight to make it work. Sheri and I were so much alike in so many ways that sometimes we clashed, and that caused problems. But as the years went by, we got stronger. Our relationship, our commitment, it all grew. We made each other better. I know for a fact she made me better.
(You may be wondering, when is he going to get to the point of this post, hang on, I’m getting there ;)
Around 2018, I finally convinced Sheri that we needed to start a podcast, mostly because of a specific incident we had gone through a couple of years earlier. We had seen firsthand just how deep the corruption in government ran, and we knew the only shot we had at making any kind of difference was to build a platform where we could expose it.
Over the past seven years or so, we’ve covered everything — UFOs, CIA and intelligence agency corruption, the New World Order, the Illuminati, weather modification, the moon landing, COVID... and the list goes on. The more we talked about the corruption and the problems in the world, the more my mind kept drifting back, back to all the things I thought I hadn’t paid attention to as a kid sitting in church, or hearing my mom listen to what I used to call “doomsday pastors” on TV in the ‘90s. Things started clicking in my head. I realized I had heard a lot of these so-called “conspiracies” before. The stories I was remembering weren’t just random; they were biblical stories, and what I now understand to be prophecies.
I started digging in — reading, researching, trying to understand how the New World Order, and especially the push during COVID for the so-called “Great Reset,” all tied together. I found myself comparing it to what the Bible said about the end times, about the signs we were supposed to look for before Christ’s return. And the more I compared, the more it hit me, these stories in the Bible weren’t just coincidences. They lined up almost perfectly with what the world’s been going through for years now, but especially over the past eight or so years.
For the first time in my life, I realized that our podcast had been leading me to something bigger, the truth. The truth about the Bible, about God, about Jesus, and about where I fit into all of this. A few years back, as our audience started to grow, we brought on our good friend Bry a few times to talk about the Bible and God. But it was the conversations off the air that really stuck with me.
I told her that when we first started the podcast, I had prayed, I told God that if the podcast actually worked, if we built an audience, I would make it a point to dive into the Bible myself. And if I found the truth I was searching for, I would use whatever platform we built to share it. Right now, at this moment in my life, I’ve never been more convinced of the existence of God, of Jesus, of the Crucifixion, and of the Resurrection. That doesn’t mean I have all the answers, not even close. I still have so much I want to learn and understand. Over the past six months, especially, I’ve been reading everything I can get my hands on, trying to piece it all together.
Sheri and I have had plenty of disagreements over the Bible, Jesus, and all of it. She grew up in a Jewish household, even though she never really practiced Judaism herself. And while she still has more questions than answers, she’s closer to believing that Jesus is the Savior than she’s ever been before.
It’s been the same journey for both of us, through the podcast, through the late-night conversations, and thanks to so many people who took the time to really talk with us, like James, Bry, Peter, Nathan, and others.
We’ve done a biblical series on the podcast before, but somewhere along the way, something pulled me away from it. At the time, I thought it had to be Satan trying to distract me. But looking back now, maybe it was God. Maybe he knew I wasn’t ready yet to lead people when it came to the Bible.
It was about six months to a year after that when something lit a fire in me. I couldn’t get enough, I wanted to learn everything I could about the Bible and scripture. Maybe, so that one day, when the time’s right, I’ll actually be ready to talk about it the way it’s meant to be talked about.
If you’re struggling with this, the way I have most of my life, just know there’s a reason for that pull inside you. The fact that you’re even wrestling with it means something. Do your research. Dig deep. Think logically, especially with everything going on in the world right now. Honestly, it’s not nearly as hard to believe the stories in the Bible today as it might have been years ago. If anything, it’s getting harder not to believe.
Stay tuned, there’s a lot more to come, both here and on the podcast. Speaking of that, we’re going to be using Substack regularly now, and we’ll also be posting some members-only content here soon.
Sheri and I just want to say thank you for all the support — we love you all and we’re so grateful to have you on this journey with us.
Hey Chad,
Chris here from the UK
I just wanted to say — I absolutely love what you shared. It really hit me deep, in a strange but powerful way.
The truth is, I don’t know all the ins and outs of religion. I don’t know the Bible like some people do. I don’t know all the details, the chapters, the teachings. But even with all that, I truly believe there’s something out there — something bigger than us — because honestly, none of this makes any sense without it.
And looking at the world now… man, it’s frightening. I honestly feel like everything started to shift long before COVID, but COVID was the moment it all really ramped up. It’s like they slammed the world into overdrive, and we haven’t slowed down since.
Especially now, here in the UK. They’re standing there with straight faces, admitting they're going to spray the sky to dim the sun — like it’s perfectly normal. Like they haven't already been doing it for years. It's insulting, honestly. It’s like they don’t even try to hide it anymore, like they think we're too blind or too beaten down to care.
And since COVID, the pace of it all — the fear, the control, the division — it’s only gotten worse. And it terrifies me, Chad. I’ve got three young kids. I’m 51 now. I’ve lived a good chunk of my life. But my kids… they’re still just starting theirs. They're only 10, 11, and 14 years old. They’ve got their whole futures ahead of them — and I lie awake some nights wondering, what kind of world are they stepping into?
I grew up in the '80s and '90s — and honestly, it was a golden time. Life felt freer, safer, more real. But now? Now it feels like everything’s crumbling around us. And if I'm being brutally honest… I’m scared for them. I’m scared for all of us.
Something’s coming. I can feel it deep in my bones. And it’s not good. Civil wars, unrest, chaos — I don't know exactly what form it’s going to take, but it’s brewing. You can see it if you just stop and really look. And honestly, Chad, I don’t know how anyone could look around right now and still think everything’s fine. Because it’s not. It's really, really not.
As for the Bible… maybe all of this ties in somehow. I don’t know. I wish I understood it better. I wish there was a version for people like me — something simpler, more direct. Because sometimes I struggle to take it all in. I’m better with audiobooks, or listening to someone break it down in a way that feels real.
But even without understanding every scripture or every teaching, I know in my gut that something is wrong. And if I’m completely honest with you — it scares the absolute life out of me.
It's clear God’s hand has been on your journey the whole time, even in the chaos, even in the drifting. He’s been patiently, faithfully leading you to the Truth, and now He's using you as a light for others who are still wandering. I'm honored and humbled to have played even a small part in your story. Keep chasing after Him. He’s not done with you, not even close. Proud of you, and grateful to call you a friend.